


Follow Blind Determination

by Starthewolf1106



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Force Ghosts, Gen, I wrote this all in one go, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Sheev Palpatine's Mother - Freeform, That's Not How The Force Works, Vengeful Spirits, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25019737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starthewolf1106/pseuds/Starthewolf1106
Summary: "Y... you... really hate me that much?" She choked out, her eyes welling with tears. Her son, her beautiful baby... He stood over her now, his once-blue eyes gleaming amber and glinting with hate.OR the story of a woman and how she grew to hate her own son
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Follow Blind Determination

**Author's Note:**

> The song is 'DeTermination' by Man on the Internet. Link here: https://youtu.be/ZtGhsNpk63Q

_**I thought that I could protect you,** _

_**But it seems I was wrong** _

_**Building your determination,** _

_**You've grown horrid and strong** _

She came to slowly, her neck throbbing and her lungs burning. Her eyes opened slightly, then slamming shut again due to the brightness. She tried again, this time finding success. 

She felt... light. It was if she were a quarter of her actual weight; like someone removed all her organs and limbs.

She looked around, scanning the room in growing confusion. Then, as she saw the broken glass shards scattered around the room and took note of the blood staining the carpet, the memories slowly returned to her.

_Running, screaming. Blood and terror and pain. Her own son, amber eyes glowing with power that no human should possess, slowly strangling her._

She shuddered violently. Looking down at her hands, she saw she could see right through them.

She should have felt a lot of things. Anger, fear, betrayal, shock, disbelief... But instead, she only felt the numbing lull of sadness and the clarity of acceptance. It didn't mean her child was forgiven. No, she didn't think she could forgive him for this. She was saddened in herself, disappointed that she had not seen the signs. 

How had this happened? She was supposed to protect him! She was supposed to protect all of her children! Now they all lay dead, because of her actions. All but one, the child she no longer recognized as her own. 

Anger ignited in her chest. She may be dead, but she could still do something. She didn't know what, not yet, but she swears upon her dead children and husband, she would avenge them. Even if it meant killing her only remaining son.

She shook her head. _He_ wasn't her son, not anymore. As far as she was concerned, Sheev Palpatine had died with the rest of them.

* * *

_**Took advantage of my kindness,** _

_**Like you took all their lives** _

_**Curse this foolish mother's blindness** _

_**And curse your bloodied knife** _

Looking back, the signs had always been there. His fights with his father. His disregard for others. His uncanny talents in manipulating people. How had she missed all of this? How could she shove away the warnings like leaves in the wind? Simple teenage rebellion and charismatic personality her ass, he was a monster. A monster of her own creation. A monster that had destroyed her family and taken her life. 

With phantom fingers, she carded her hands through the hair of her now-dead children. She shed a single tear, as bright as a newborn star, and watched as it splintered into a thousand glittering fragments on one of her son's forehead. 

They did not rise with her, nor did her husband. It seemed the burden of life after death was hers to bear, and hers only. 

That was okay with her. Ice-cold vengeance filled her heart, clashing with the fiery regret that coursed through her veins. 

Closing her eyes, she took a second to linger on the few wholesome memories of _him._

_A child, small and delicate, pale blue eyes staring up at her as he beamed, a baby's breath flower in his tiny hands._

_The same child held close to her chest as he cried, her gentle caress calming him down._

_The excitement in his eyes as he smiled brightly at a new speeder he got as a gift._

Those memories were quickly replaced with those of amber eyes and a twisted snarl. 

Opening her eyes, she stared ahead, jaw set in a determined line. She would haunt her killer for the rest of his years, and for eons beyond that. No matter what pain it may bring her to destroy her own child, her own flesh and blood, she would do it. She would get justice, not only for her, but for the rest of her family.

* * *

_**I thought that you wouldn't fit in,** _

_**I thought that you'd be condemned** _

_**But it seems the truth is written,** _

_**You are no better than them** _

_"What are we to do?" She asked. Fear settled in her chest as she gazed down at her infant child, blissfully unaware of the situation._

_"I don't know." Her husband answered. "We could turn him over to the Jedi Order. He is young enough, still." He suggested._

_She mulled it over for a second. The possibility had haunted her thoughts ever since she had learned that her youngest son was Force Sensitive. It was the most logical option, as that was what happened to most Force Sensitive children. But... Something bothered her about that. She didn't know what it was, only that it warned her of something._

_She looked down at her child again, and it clicked. He was average for human children, she knew, but she just_ knew _that, if she turned him over, he would face a life of loneliness and bitter resentment. Perhaps it was all just made up in her head, but she could not, in good faith, sentence her child to that._

_"No." She told him. "We will raise him like any other normal child. It's been done before." She explained._

_"And what if the Order catches wind of this?" He rebutted._

_"They won't. Besides, if they do, what we're doing isn't illegal." She reasoned._

_Hesitantly, he nodded. Normally, she was soft-spoken, but when it came to her children, she would do anything to protect them._

_Picking him up, she cradled him in her arms._

_"I won't let anything hurt you, my angel." She whispered._

* * *

_**To think that I once believed** _

_**That you'd ever be good** _

_**But in my last breaths, I will grieve** _

_**For I now doubt you could** _

She stared at what used to be her son as he addressed the Galaxy. The monstrous shell of a kid that she once knew, he had risen to power as Supreme Chancellor. 

Dread settled along her gut once more as she thought of the implications. She knew of the other atrocities he had committed in the years since her passing. She had seen him kill and steal and much, much worse. And now he was the leader of the Republic. The implications made her feel nauseated and faint.

They couldn't see it. They couldn't see the dark rot slowly seeping its way into the very heart of the Republic, infecting it, slowly killing it. He was a parasite, leeching the Republic and its people until it was little more than a husk.

She wanted nothing more than to rid the universe of the dark stain that was Sheev Palpatine. She wanted to run in and rescue the girl and the child from his grasps before it was too late. She saw the way he looked at the boy, (Anakin, his name was) like he was a weapon that he could use to get his way. She wanted to scream and yell and wail to the unsuspecting Order that danger lurked just outside their door, and very soon within their home. She cried, tears like broken glass, shattering into nothingness. Insignificant, yet painful. 

Despair was all-too-common for her. How was she to stop him? She was one dead woman who was remembered only in passing. Was she destined to watch as this tyrant that was her son destroyed the galaxy? Was she meant to watch the downfall of everything she ever lived for, completely and utterly helpless?

She hated it. She hated having to stand by and do nothing as lives were ruined, or, in her case, taken. Most of all, she hated _him._

So, at night, when he slept she haunted his dreams. She wept and wailed in his mind's eye, loud and unhinged and she had no plans to stop. She swears upon all the Gods of Naboo, she will continue to scream and shout at him until the day that he dies. She would cry out, singing of his sins in a song only he could hear. She didn't care if he felt guilty about them or not, as long as it had some effect she counted it as a success. 

She must continue. Even darker days were ahead of them, which she knew her son would bring as surely as storm clouds bring rain. And when they do, she will be ready.

* * *

_**So goodbye, Child of Man** _

_**There is blood on your hands** _

_**You are no better than him** _

Long ago, a few years after she had first died, she had questioned how far the vile creature posing as her kin would go to achieve power. Now, she knew her answer, one she hopes he will not continue to answer, though she knows he inevitably will. 

A Galaxy-wide war, ending millions of lives, ruining billions of families, destroying planets... The list could go on. Sheev Palpatine was guilty of enough war crimes to make a Hutt ashamed. Of course, nobody knew or even suspected the truth. Nobody important, anyway.   
And the boy, the boy worried her. He was a man now, headstrong and brave. He had a fire in his heart that reminded her of somebody that she thought she once knew, somebody from a two lifetimes ago. He was the sun and the storm, the lightning that scorched flesh and bone and the thunder that echoed in the ears of all who heard. He was the clash of steel and the fluttering of wings; the torrential downpour and the swirling sandstorm, both of which she had experienced over the years a ghost. She feared him, too, for she could see the darkness that was her child slowly infect him. It crept through his veins like poison, a deadly disease that choked out all light and left only darkness in its wake.

She knew what Sheev had done to him. She knew how he had manipulated and groomed the child from the very beginning. She knew the boy would fall to the darkness in the end, but she did not blame him. He was not the villain of this story: Palpatine was. He was simply another unfortunate soul who's life would too be ruined by the living darkness that was Palpatine.

She watched with hallowed eyes, a haunted gaze that saw through his perfect lies and witnessed his true being, a being of darkness and vile, a being that was everything wrong with the universe.

She could only brace herself for what he had next, and pray that he would soon be stopped before it was too late.

* * *

_**So leave this place,** _ _**So leave the ruins** _

_**Stay determined, human** _

_**But don't forget the lives you've ruined** _

_**Don't forget what you've done** _

It was time. The Force thrashed and writhed and, even though she was not Force Sensitive, she could feel its agony. The dreaded day had arrived, the day where the boy fell, the day where they crossed the point of no return and Palpatine gained complete control. He was a dictator of a tyrannical Empire, the Republic was no more. She knew then that there was nothing more she could do. What could she possibly say or do to fix this? 

He was not her son, not anymore. He was a child of darkness, one that she would help to bring down. She would not rest until he was lying dead at her feet. 

How could this have happened? Things were never meant to be this way! He was supposed to be her child, her kin that she could rely on in the hardest of times. He was supposed to be great, but not like this! It wasn't supposed to be like this! What went wrong? Was it all her fault, or was there nothing she could have done from the start? Was he born this way, or was it something she did wrong? Was it both? Neither? What the hell happened for this to be the destiny of the Galaxy? 

If she could change one thing, one small moment in time, she would have prevented him from being born. He was her worst mistake, and by far her biggest regret. she found no love for him in her heart, she hadn't felt that in a very long time. 

She did not cry as she watched the Jedi fall to their own troops, their allies and trusted friends, the hidden threat placed there by _him,_ though she wished she could. She did not weep as the boy she watched grow brought down the Temple, leaving only flames and dust and blood, though she felt her heart break for all involved. She did not sob as the light was chased away and smothered by the dark, though she wanted to. She did not wail as brother fought against brother, or as one brother was left to die on a desolate planet, though her heart did break for him and the young woman dying in childbirth. She watched with dry eyes as the man was rebirthed and the remanents of the Republic destroyed, her grief quickly pushed aside. Not a tear was shed as a child she once thought was hers claimed his throne as Emperor Palpatine.

She felt nothing but anger, cold and hard in every fiber of her being. She thought of all he had done, of all the billions of lives he had destroyed. She had let her anger and sadness control her for too long, now she would do something about it.

He was her mistake, and she would fix it, no matter what it cost her. 

* * *

_**Leave us all behind in darkness,** _

_**As onward you go** _

_**With your bold determination,** _

_**You won't be stopped, I know** _

Thousands enslaved. Millions killed. Billions living in fear. She was the cause of all of this, she knows. A lifetime ago, she would have been crushed under the guilt and grief this would have brought her, but she was no longer the same person she was 70 years ago. She was stronger, hardened by the harsh reality of _his_ actions. Now, she embraced her guilt and anger and despair, and she used it to fight against him in all the subtle ways she could.

She couldn't interact with the physical world the way she could before, but she could still do a surprising amount. She could spook the animals the Empire used, shortcircuit machinery, she could even leave ominous messages to spook the troopers. It was very minor things, she knew, but like the universe was made up of atoms (something she learned after she had died, though she had heard of the concept beforehand) all of her little acts built up over time. Frustration and decreased morale in the enemy helped the Rebellion in more ways than they may ever know. 

She even encountered other ghosts. Most of them were unremarkable, other than being literal ghosts, and she paid most of them no mind. However, one encounter does stick out. He called himself Master Yoda, and she recognized him from the Jedi Order. 

The old troll was definitely interesting, though she held no strong opinions on him. She knew that he was also responsible for the rise of the dark, just as she was, but she also knew that he had genuinely good intentions. Perhaps he was like her: an old, battered soul who tried their best, and that ended up doing more harm than good, and now they were trying to make things right. 

He had told her that there was hope, and that she should try to find peace. She had scoffed and had told him the truth. The truth, that she was responsible for this, and that she could not possibly find peace. He had been surprised at this.

 _"What, you thought that monsters didn't have mothers?"_ She had asked him, bitterly.

 _"Hmm. Perhaps. Or, thought that remorseful, caring mothers, monsters didn't have, I did. Wrong, I was. Grateful, I am. Opened my eyes, you have."_ He told her in that weird, backward way of speaking. She mulled over his words, and she hoped that he was right.

She wondered if the boy who was now a man-monster-machine hybrid had a mother who cared for him, who watched on with regret and remorse. She wondered if she hated herself, or if she hated her. She would have every right to, after all. It was her child that had corrupted her son, after all.

She shook herself. There was no use dwelling on such thoughts. Perhaps there was, perhaps there wasn't. 

It didn't matter. What did matter was that something big was going to happen soon, something that would change the Galaxy once more.

She could only hope that this change was for the better.

* * *

_**Follow blind determination,** _

_**Since you can't resist its call** _

_**Follow blind determination,** _

_**As downward we fall** _

It was the end, she could feel it. Her hairs stood on end as her non-existent heart thudded in her chest, her phantom fists clenching by her sides. 

There were others there: Yoda, the Brother, and another man she only faintly recognized. They didn't matter, however. What mattered was the blonde boy, the man-monster-machine, and Palpatine. The familiar feeling of guilt, anger, sadness, and regret filled her as she watched the lightning split from Palpatine's fingers, its blinding, spidery lights scorching the boy's skin. The child screamed out in agony, his pain shared by her and the man-monster-machine, who was apparently the boy's father. 

It clicked in her head. She knew what she had to do. She wasn't sure if it would work, as she had never tried anything like this before, but she knew with certainty that this was was she needed to do. 

Approaching the man-monster-machine hybrid, she reached out and rested her fingers against his helmet lightly. She whispered in his ear all of the horrible things Palpatine had done. She whispered for what felt like an eternity, spilling every little secret, telling every little lie he had ever told. Finally, when she was satisfied, she stepped back, and waited. A second passed, and she feared it had not worked. But, then, he let out a bellow of rage and pain and betrayal, and she knew she was successful. The man-monster-machine charged forwards, picking up Palpatine, suffering the brunt force of the lightning. He staggered towards the edge of the platform, and she _knew_ that everything she had done over the last 70 years had come to fruition. She felt the gazes of the other ghosts, but she did not care. She knew the last thing she needed to do before she could finally rest. She stood at the edge with them, and when the man-monster-machine dropped Palpatine, letting him fall down into certain death, she jumped down after him. 

After all, it was only fair that he would die with her, the woman who he had first killed all those years ago. She grabbed his arm as he fell, a surge of emotion more powerful than anything she ever experienced filling her being. Anger, sadness, guilt, betrayal, fear, exhilaration, and the peace of finality rushed through her, and through him as well. 

She did not say anything in those final seconds. There was nothing left to say. She simply clawed at his skin and projected 70 years of pain onto him, making him relive every agonizing moment. Then, there was nothingness. Darkness engulfed her and finally, she felt something she hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

She felt peace.

* * *

_**Follow blind determination** _

_**Since you can't resist its call** _

_**I damn your determination** _

_**As downward I fall** _

_A soft golden glow filled the room, illuminating tiny specks of dust wafting lazily in the warm breeze. She was rocking slightly, cooing at the small bundle in her arms. She would do things right this time, and that was a promise worth 70 years of torture._


End file.
